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A Better Christmas

so, a time for warm memories?

fond loved ones from the past?

Christmas 2019 one to forget

I thought it might prove my last

 

parrot strangled in trimmings

wife, shopping after a row, got

took short, skidded off the path

tree trimmed by a snow plough

 

house got burgled Christmas Eve

at which your festive spirit palls

he nicked the replacement spruce

complete ...

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On the Limitations Of Hand Gel

My love life is a dusty relic of the Stone Age

The risks of COVID are too much to handle

My new blow-up doll's not quite the same

But dames are just not worth the candle

 

I miss the gossip working from home, and

I'm growing obese eating non-stop cookies,

I'm depressed from thinking about my fate,

Facing queer street from on-line bookies

 

The allotment affords me a b...

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